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:icondarknightforever: More from darknightforever


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Submitted on
February 22, 2010
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I'll play your heart strings just like when I
Strum on my guitar,
Carelessly

-

As I play a song
Your heart will follow until it
B r e a k s
The strings will snap
Will you survive in the end?

-

Pick up your broken pieces, love
And I'll mend your heart for you
Fixing the strings
Carefully putting you back together again
Only to play that song, your song
Play with the stings around your heart
Guide you around back to grace and
B r e a k
You at my feet all over
Again

-

How many times will I play this song?
When will you make me stop playing with your heart?
Why don't you take it back, you crazy fool
If you don't, over and over
Your heart will surely
B r e a k
I thought of this one on my way to Music class today, and forgot about it until I got on the bus. I tend to write a lot of poems on my bus o.o XD Ah well.
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:iconiownsarcasm:
IOwnSarcasm Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
The way you space out "break" is perfect for this. <3
I love the idea of playing someone's heart like an instrument...music and poetry are two of my favorite things, and I love it when they come together.

I do think that "If you don't over and over your heart will surely b r e a k" sounds a bit awkward, with the over and over part, but I can't think of a better placing for it because I do like the way that break is the last word. :/ Hm, not too sure on that one.

"As I play a song
Your heart will follow until it
B r e a k s
The strings will snap"
That is just beautiful. :heart: As is this entire poem. (:
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:icondarknightforever:
darknightforever Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2010
I wasn't sure if it would work, but in the end it really helped. I wanted to make that word stand out, like it needed to be read.

I know what you mean, though I do think it ends up working, just because of the 'break' on the last line.

Thank you :heart: You're beautiful for all of your comments and feedback <3
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:iconxxshadowexx:
xxShadowexx Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2010
Pick up your broken pieces, love
And I'll mend your heart for you

made me semi sad. :heart:
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:icondarknightforever:
darknightforever Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2010
Does that mean it made you semi happy too? What is the other part of it?~
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:iconxxshadowexx:
xxShadowexx Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010
semi sad and yes, semi happy. cause it's a really lovely line. and it hit home. i think i've heard you say it to me before. or something along those lines. :heart:
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:icondarknightforever:
darknightforever Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010
It is quite a lovely line, and yea I think I've said that to you before :3 :heart:~
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:iconxxshadowexx:
xxShadowexx Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010
exactly. :heart: so, i think that's why i liked it so much.
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:icondarknightforever:
darknightforever Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010
:D Yaaaay~ :heart:
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:iconxxshadowexx:
xxShadowexx Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010
:love:
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:iconparalyzed-donkey:
Paralyzed-Donkey Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i really like this this is good O.O
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